Lid Opener

   As I aged, my body started to change. At 50 I started to notice that my strength had diminished, and my heart beat faster than it had at 30 when I exerted myself. At 50, I started working much smarter, because I couldn’t work any harder. I had to apply thought, over brute strength, when approaching every task. I know your saying, “well duh”, but the reality is that every task requires some degree of strength and some degree of thought. Think about it.

Realizing your diminishing capacities and accepting limitations, is something we all have to do, or at least we should. If your body is telling you something, don’t ignore it. Seeing a doctor is up to you, but at least be honest with yourself. You can’t just muscle the lid off the jar like you used to. Own it, pilgrim! They have devices out there for jar lids, that actually work! Buy one!! Put that hammer down; you’re going to get glass and pickle juice everywhere! Have a piece of celery instead and get on the internet!!! You can have a pickle by the end of the week!! See… thought and strength working to complete a task.

I understand the inherent problem with buying the lid-opener. I empathize with how you feel about it. I know the moment you place that order, you are admitting that you are getting older and weaker. It’s a tough pill to swallow. At 60, I’ve been gagging on those pills for a decade! I’ve had three different lid-openers!! Each one brought me down a notch!!! Buying each one hurt me on some emotional level. Just another pill I had to swallow. So, I understand that the lid-opener has an enormous amount of meaning on a very personal level for you, I truly feel your pain.

From experience though, I can say, that by accepting the truth, about yourself and your diminishing capacity, life will get easier. Once that lid-opener is in the drawer, you’ll not even bother to test your strength, you’ll just get the lid opener out and use it. You have a tool. You have nothing to gain by not using it and everything to lose. Why risk the shot to your ego, if you don’t have the strength needed? It is far better to walk away with your pickle in hand, and think that you probably didn’t need the jar-opener and could have opened it on your own, than it is to slump away with no pickle, after being bitch-slapped by a jar of Vlasic’s!

  Stop deceiving yourself. It will only take you places you don’t want to go. Think twice before you take a jar out of someone’s hand at a gathering, and say you can get it open. Take a second to think and be honest with yourself. There’s a reason that person was struggling in the first place! Are you sure you are the solution?? Just because it’s a different brand of pickle, doesn’t mean it won’t bitch-slap you too!!! Don’t put yourself in a situation that has a better than 50-50 chance of leading to pain and public humiliation. Keep your mouth shut!!

Or better yet, ask if they have a lid-opener.