I am now at Day 7 of the final portion of my cancer treatment, aka the transplant. With the transplant completed, all that remains for me is to manage through the side-effects. There are three effects that I feel I am trying to manage. Fatigue, an overall tiredness and lack of energy. Pain, which is constant but managed with the ever-trusty opioid, and nausea, which has become my number one enemy.
For the last four days, from the time I wake to the time I sleep at night, I am constantly fighting the urge to ‘lose my cookies’. I am being given anti-nausea meds in fairly large doses, but the feeling just won’t go away. I haven’t actually vomited, which I guess is good, but the upset stomach is a horrible feeling. It makes me wonder if I just let go and puked, if I wouldn’t feel better. The feeling reminds me of the times, in my youth, when I had drunk too much the night before, and then spent the next day thinking I would lose it if I ate something, and sure enough come dinner time, I did.
I have been unable to eat more than a few bites of food for the last few days. It is not that I’m not hungry, I assume I am. Since, in the last two days my diet has been, two strips of bacon, part of an egg, two mouthfuls of lasagna and three perogies. The lasagna was a mistake, it gave me acid indigestion to go with the nausea. A double whammy. I’m a better eater than this, but I’m not noticing any hunger pains because they are being hidden by the nausea. It really sucks. The crippling pain I have experienced in my back, over the last year, hasn’t been as bad as this sick feeling I’m experiencing now. That may only be because it is at the forefront of my mind, but honestly, I feel it’s worse.
Food is in abundance on the cancer ward. The inmates get three squares a day. Breakfast at 8am, lunch at 12pm, dinner at 5pm and snacks available upon request. I can even order delivery from any restaurant or fast-food joint in the city if I desire. I got no desire! I’ve even stopped drinking coffee!! This cancer treatment thing really sucks!!!
I know this to will pass, but for now I am hating it. The medication I receive for the nausea, along with my other medications will have to suffice as my daily meal consumption until my stomach says otherwise. I am not worried about becoming undernourished or dehydrated, because I am monitored every few hours. If there is a concern from the medical staff, they will simply plug me into an IV drip and give me what I need to survive. Until this feeling dissipates, I will struggle along feeling crappy. The general timeline I have been given says that today and tomorrow are due to be the worse and I will need to suck it up and get through it.
The thought of food is unappealing to me at this moment, and I’m probably skipping the meal buffet cart today. I wonder if they have an IV drip that is ‘Bacon-ator’ flavoured?