1-800 Register Me

Even though the last 10 months have been hard on all of us, the next eight months will be crushing. That is the amount of time it will take for enough doses of vaccine to reach Canada to make an impact. Unless of course we only give the vaccine to people over 50, and give the ‘spreaders’ a placebo and let them get sick. Then maybe it will only be six months. The bottom line is this is going to take time and require all of us to show patience.

Even in a state of lock-down, I can see the difference in people, with the news of the first doses of the vaccine arriving in Canada this week. They are still grumbling about restrictions but they are doing it with a lighter step. I doubt this sprinkling of euphoria will last long but since this is Christmas, I’ll take any present I can get.

Only a trickle of the vaccine, approx. 30,000 doses, is arriving in the country this week. The initial plan is to disperse the doses across the country to each of the ten provinces according to population. There are one-million people in my province, aka health region, which is one/thirty-seventh of the population. We got 1800 doses. This will immunize 900 people, a far cry from what is required, but you need to start somewhere.

Each province has a criterion of who will receive the first shots. Most provinces, including my own, are following the guidelines recommended by the federal government. We are fortunate to have a strong central government, whose message has been consistent throughout this pandemic. Also, most provincial leaders, even though they are from different political parties, have been united with our federal leadership. This has created an entirely different mentality in this country as opposed to that south of my border. Create chaos and confusion, has been their approach from the beginning.

On the northern side of that border though, we are a bit more organized. In my province, we have a list of people that qualify for the initial doses. They are frontline healthcare workers. Those people that work in long-term nursing homes, places which have been hit with the greatest number of COVID related deaths, are at the top of that list. We even have a ‘1-800 register me’ line, where people that qualify, can phone and book an appointment to get inoculated.

On Sunday December 13, 2020 the ‘1-800 register me’ line in my province opened up and received 100,000 calls from people wishing to book an appointment to receive the vaccine, according to CTV news. That’s 10% of the regions population!! The number of people that qualify for this initial inoculation is only .0034% of the population! No where have I seen that the first wave of inoculations would be given to frontline healthcare workers and stupid people! Just because you have a grandmother that is in a home, or you drive by a hospital on your way to work, does not mean you qualify! A minimum 96,000 of you morons phoned and clogged up the lines!!

Phone traffic was so heavy, that at the end of the day on Sunday, the province released information that said that even though they had received 100k calls, that after the culling of the stupid people, they still had appointments remaining for those that qualify. Meaning that the stupid people made it impossible to get through to book an appointment by those that did qualify. They didn’t even register 900 people!! Out of 100,000 calls!!!

Now I understand that you are anxious, and information is hard to come by, but you need to remain calm. Go to your government website and read what they are saying. The whole thing! Not just up to the part that has the phone number! In my province they are saying those that are healthcare workers of a certain age or older are 1st up. If you’re the Millennial manning the switchboard at reception at the old-age home on weekends, you don’t qualify! Stop phoning!

I also understand that the government is saying that “caregivers to our most vulnerable population” will receive the vaccine first.  Let me help you with this, just because you have grandma in a bedroom upstairs, doesn’t put you in the “caregiver to the elderly” group. It’s your grandmother for crying out loud! Don’t use her as a means to get yourself to the front of the line! Have some dignity!! Keep her safe until the government announces future rounds of inoculations are ready and make sure grandma gets hers when the time comes. Until then stop phoning!!

Its going to be a slow process. Enough vaccines to immunize my health region will not arrive for many months. Until then the best we can do is take the time to get informed. The information is out there on virtually every government website. The how’s, the when’s, and the who’s of vaccine distribution in your area are easily accessible. Don’t just call the ‘1-800 register me’ hotline with any question you have, you’re just slowing an already slow process.

I believe that immunization will speed up eventually, as other vaccines are authorized and distributed. Staying out of the way and allowing the process to flow until then, is the best thing I can do to get myself to a shot in the shortest amount of time. I encourage you all to ‘chill’ and be patient, trust me, your time will come to decide whether you want the shot or not, and you’ll know when that is. There will be no uncertainty. Until then stop phoning!!

You know, I’m not sure if I should be encouraged that 10% of my province wants to get immunized, or concerned that 99,200 of them are stupid people.

Mask up and stay safe.





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1 Comment

  1. //

    BEAUTIFUL! BEAUTIFUL! BEAUTIFUL! Damnit, I really like this one. Good for you. Well done. And funny as hell too!!

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