Only In America

Now I understand that I am not an American citizen, and for the most part get my information in ten-second sound bites, but as I see it, the only way Trump would be the smartest guy in the room, is if everyone else left.

Just so I have this straight, being from another country and all, this is how I am seeing the last couple of weeks in the United States…

*President Plump tests positive for the ‘rona’.

When this happened will be discussed for some time. Both the date of test and where Plump came in contact with the virus.

*The official announcement comes via his Twitter account.

This is as opposed to an official release from The White House. For those of you that may not know because like me, you are from another country, The White House is a branch of the American government. Yes, I know technically it is a big white house, but it is where the Executive Branch, the Plump people go to work each day, along with and army of clerical staff. It has official status. It released the information about 5 hours after Plump did.

*The next day Plump goes to the hospital and checks in to the Presidential suite.

I was not aware that hospitals have presidential suites, but I guess they do. Like most people I couldn’t afford one and honestly wouldn’t get offered one. I wonder if the beds are bigger and the food is upgraded too?

*He is attended to by numerous doctors, many of them specialists and receives around the clock personal care.

I’m not talking “push this button if you need to call a nurse” kind of care, but the ‘doctor standing discreetly in the corner’ in case the patient moans, kind of care. The care that very few patients ever get, especially in the US, unless their wallet is big enough.

*Plump’s condition is treated aggressively, including experimental treatments, that are only available in drug-trials, plus a steroid shot.

I feel pretty safe to say, that giving the Plump-ster performance enhancing drugs is not the best thing for your country. I also have no problem imagining the amount of discussion that was needed for Plump to become the tenth person in the world to be given a new drug treatment. “What’s the latest thing?” “Well sir, we’ve had good success with a new…” “Give it to me!”

*The next day he drives around the hospitals parking lot, so he can wave to his public.

He kept the window up so none of those people outside, who were likely to vote for him, would be exposed to the virus that he was exuding from his mouth and nose. He did wear a mask in the hermetically-sealed vehicle.

*Plump leaves the hospital at the exact time the evening news starts.

I watch the American evening news. It’s the only 30-minute sitcom that I watch anymore! He got on the helicopter and then took the scenic route!! He ate up 23-minutes of the broadcast!!!

*He comes out onto the balcony of The White House and has a moment.

The ‘Evita’ moment on the balcony where he removes his mask and salutes the country, reminds me very much of a ‘tear-gas the protesters for photo-op at a church’ moment.

*He posts a video saying he feels great, no mention of the Mrs., and not to fear the ‘rona’.

In an effort to show his personal strength and overall fitness Plump does a video. Telling the public that the US has the best doctors and medicines that will defeat the ‘rona’. He doesn’t bother to mention that these medicines are not currently available to the rest of the country, because they’re experimental! “Don’t let COVID-19 because I was cured?? Did he just encourage the stupid people to act accordingly? I warned you about those performance-enhancing drugs!!

*More then 30 people in the Executive Branch test positive and the rest have to self-isolate because of close contact.

This doesn’t seem to be a problem because the place wasn’t really functioning properly anyway.

*Plump goes back to the office after two-days of isolation in his residence.

He can’t seem to follow the simplest of instructions. “Stay in isolation until you are no longer infectious,” he was told. You stayed in your home for two days! Do you have ADD??

*Doctors at Walter Reed and The White House, are vague on health details.

It seems that no one wants to officially say when the President had his last negative ‘rona’ test. Doesn’t this make contact tracing a little more difficult? The guy was on the campaign trail! It should be an easy question to answer. It’s on the chart!! Or is the answer that testing, like mask wearing, were optional.

*More Twitter, more Twitter, more Twitter.

He also hacked and coughed his way through a radio appearance. It seems clear that the steroid injections are having their desired effect.

*Plump holds event at the White House

Ten days from first symptom to having people over to hear him speak. That is quite the turn around, but when you have an election to win, you got to do, what you got to do.

*Plump is cured

Plump hits the campaign-trail barely ten days after calling an Uber-copter for a lift to the hospital. He claims he is 100% fit and his doctors say he is good to go. This is astounding for a man that was called ‘obese’ thousands of times just a week ago. “I can’t get it. I can’t give it. I’m immune.” So off to the rally he goes.

This is the timeline I have witnessed in the last ten days, from north of their border. Have I missed something? Oh yes, I forgot, the rest of The White House infected are still self-isolating, while they recuperate from their infection. They didn’t get steroids.





Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2020 Shane Ferguson

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.