Heat

Have you ever noticed that the hotter it gets the more people slow down and the colder it gets the more they speed up? It doesn’t make much sense but it seems to be what happens. Cold seems to invigorate while heat makes you lethargic. Kind of odd isn’t it? I’m sure that there is some sort of medical or scientific reason for this but regardless it is what it is.

 

I think there are two types of heat, Jungle Heat and Desert Heat. One is humid, the other is dry, but they are both hot! Most places only experience one type of heat, but where I live I can get either. I am surrounded by lakes and rivers but I am also surrounded by huge amounts of farm land that is arid and requires irrigation. So, depending on which way the wind is blowing I can experience both desert and jungle heat. It can be hot and dry or hot and humid. In contrast, the winter in this area is constant. It is always dry and FN COLD!!!

 

Right now, the northern hemisphere is hot… searing hot. In North America the heat is stretching from the Mexican border to the northern reaches of Canada. It’s not uncommon in the north to get a few days of +30-degree temperatures in the heart of summer but this heatwave has been going on for two solid weeks, maybe three!! It is stupid hot outside!!! On Sunday the temperature reached 39C! That’s the actual temperature!! The ‘feel’s like’ temp is way worse!!! I’m a puddle the moment I step outside!

 

Okay I can already hear what your saying… “and you plan to move to a Caribbean Island?” Yes, I do because the temperature there is only 34C, feels like 38C. It’s cooler in the Caribbean than it is on the Canadian prairies!!! Let’s not forget that the temperature in the DR is inland. I’m going to be on the beach, and it is at least 5 degrees cooler there!!! The weather there is perfect!!

 

So why the weather report? Because the worst possible thing has happened to me during this summer heatwave… I have a cold!!! There is nothing worse than a summer cold!! I feel like crap and I’m sweating in the air-conditioning!! My body temperature is the same as the outdoor temperature!! I’m not just lethargic, I’m down right catatonic!!! My body is aching and my head is full of god knows what and no matter how much I blow my nose my head keeps filling up! Where does all this snot come from??!!

 

To add to my misery since it’s summer we don’t have any cold remedies in the medicine cabinet. I had to combine the last drops from three different bottles to get just one teaspoon of medicine! Cherry flavouring and mint flavouring combined don’t do anything to mask the crappy taste of Buckley’s!!! There isn’t even any chicken noodle soup in the house. Why would there be? Who in their right mind is eating soup when it’s 40 degrees outside!!!

 

The summer cold must be some higher beings’ cruel joke. On the hottest day of the year I find myself shivering under a blanket while I’m sweating!! I fell asleep and since I can’t breathe through my nose I slept with my mouth open and between the drool running out of my mouth and the snot flowing out of my nose, I woke to find a puddle on my pillow deep enough to drown in!! Right now, it sucks to be me!!!

 

Like everything else this too shall pass. But knowing this doesn’t make me any less miserable but I know I’m not about to die. I wouldn’t be that lucky! I am going to have to go through at least a week of feeling crappy before I am able to shake this thing. Every day I will feel terrible but not as terrible as the day before, then two days after my body rids itself of this wretched cold I will realize it’s gone.

 

I need to stop telling you about how I feel because Honey has just returned from shopping and has restocked the medicine cabinet. I’m going to go and make myself a medicinal cocktail. After I have taken all the different ingredients required to rid myself of my numerous symptoms I am going to take a nap. I’m using a life preserver as a pillow… wish me well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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