Socks

I received a communique from Rock some 48 hours ago. He told me that he and Stream were packed and ready to go. He also inquired as to the weather, noting that the weather network said that there was rain in our area. I wrote a reply saying that yes there had been a few showers and it had been cloudy on and off but generally the weather had been great. I hit the ‘send reply’ key on my tablet and seconds later the skies opened up and it began to pour rain and it hasn’t stopped since. Who the hell invited Mother Nature and her sidekick Murphy on holidays with us?!!!

 

Weather happens and there is little anyone can do about it. You must simply accept what it is and do the best you can to work around it. Even though it has been raining fairly steadily for the past two days the temperature has not plummeted to the point I need to put on long pants and heaven forbid… socks.

 

Socks are something that every year when I travel south get removed at 30,000 ft. and don’t get put back on again until I am back on the plane and half way home. Socks are something at home that must be worn daily to help stave off the frigid air and frequently in winter, my socks wear socks. But when I hit the island they are put away and forgotten about. If I lived on this island I don’t know that I would even own a pair.

 

Sans socks has become my winter holiday thing. I know it may sound odd but not having to encase my feet reminds me that I am not bound by the daily winter routine. Not having them on my feet is a constant reminder that I am free to do as I please, when I please (with Honey’s permission of course). Living sock free in February is not an option on the Canadian prairies, but I’m not currently on the prairies so socks are not part of my life.

 

I’m sure that people that travel in winter have certain things that they wear that help to remind themselves that they are away from winter. I believe that even though they are not aware that they have these things, that they do. I am also aware that some of these people should have left these things at home. That’s right Mr. 50 year-old, you should leave your Speedo’s at home. In fact you should burn your Speedo’s. I know that when you look in the mirror you fool yourself into believing that you still have abs that the women would refer to as a ‘6 pack’, but the truth is your carrying around a keg!! Burn that Speedo and for the sake of the rest of us wear a shirt!!

 

Sorry, I need to get this off my chest. The sight of older men strutting down the beach in Speedo’s drives me nuts. It’s a European thing, I never see North Americans dressed that way but the Europeans from the continent all seem to own Speedo’s and for some reason are willing to wear them. They would probably tell me it is so they can expose more skin to the sun and get a better tan. Let me tell you buddy that your stomach is so large that your legs are in shade from the knees up, even when you’re lying down!! Do the world a favour and invest in grown-up swim trunks or wear shorts so that when you walk towards me on the beach I don’t think you’re naked until you pass by me and I can see that there is this tiny piece of cloth that is barely covering the crack in your big fat ass!!! Stop kidding yourself that Dominican women are attracted to your imagined Adonis-like body or the bulge in those tight Speedo’s that no one can see, the only bulge that interests them is the one in your wallet!

 

So please take a page from my book and do the reasonable thing… take your socks off and call  it a day.

 

 

 

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