Internal Clocks and Sensors

A little more about me, I wouldn’t want anyone to start thinking that this is an actual travel site. I think the awesome stick drawings should give them the idea.

May 2013

ic0010001Therapeutic Massage, I don’t know what exactly it is, but after a hard day, when my body is screaming at me in pain, it sounds like it would be nice. ‘Therapeutic’ as in healing, ‘Massage’ as in aaaaaaah! So would one of those sleeps that you see on television, the ones where you wake up feeling totally refreshed. I know it’s just a commercial and the woman didn’t really just sleep for eight hours, and those aren’t her kids that she’s smiling at, but damn… I want me one of those sleeps. You can keep the pretend children; I just want to wake up with that feeling because that’s not how I feel in the morning.

I have had some incredible night’s sleeps in my lifetime but it’s not a regular event. Sleeping is not really the issue, I can sleep anywhere. I just don’t stay asleep long enough. After forty years in the workforce, my body requires much more ‘repair downtime’ than I’m able to give it. My aches and pains are deep rooted, so waking up refreshed just doesn’t happen. My work schedule doesn’t help, getting up at three and four in the morning is a killer on my system and before you get upset mom… I set my own schedule! I know your saying, what a moron but I find that working early in the stores allows me to get my job done quicker and with less interruption. The store employees leave you alone, they have work to do but once those doors are open and the ‘Mall Rats’ come flowing through those doors, production takes a drastic down turn. So I choose to go early.

ic0010002As anyone over the age of forty can testify to, you sleep less as you get older. Rationalizing it by telling yourself that you require less sleep than you did when you were young is only fooling yourself. The 8 to 10 hours that we required when we were seven is the same amount we need at fifty-seven. For some people this is a doable thing, they don’t get up until 7 am. So going to bed at 11 means those eight hours are possible but for me, I would have to go to bed at 7pm!! I’d miss ‘Dancing with the Stars’!!! It wouldn’t matter anyway; after thirty years of burning the candle at both ends by staying up late for entertainment purposes and getting up early for production purposes, my brains internal clock is now permanently programed to slam open my eyelids a maximum six hours after I close them. It happens whether I need to be awake or not, there’s no escaping it.

ic0010003I am one of those people that have a powerful internal clock. I don’t wear a watch and haven’t since I was fourteen. There are always plenty of time pieces around if I need to know a precise time, but my internal clock always seems to let me know when I am running short of time and because of that I am rarely late. I also don’t wake up to an alarm clock and haven’t for two decades. Why bother? My internal clock will just wake me up five minutes before the alarm is set to go off anyway! How the hell does it do that?!?

As time has passed my internal clock has become almost redundant because my brains ‘pain sensors’ keep going off all night long, interrupting my ‘healing’ sleep. Shoulder pain, knee discomfort, back ache and what the hell is with the leg twitching!?! When I was younger I would just sleep through the ‘sensor alarms’ and let my body move me around to a better position without waking me. Now when I move in my sleep I just set off other ‘pain sensors’ that get so loud, I have to wake up so my brain can get conscious control of my body and move it to a pain free position just to turn the damn things off! It doesn’t matter where I sleep!!ic0010004 Beds, couches or beach chairs, there is very little chance of me getting 10 hours of sleep. Eventually the ‘OW-OW-OW’ alarms will start going off or my IC will open my eyes. No bed or sleep aid is going change that. I’ll get to sleep… I just won’t stay there.

So I won’t buy the bed because I’ve already been down that road before with no success. Even though they offer a money back guarantee if you are not totally satisfied or a free trial period, let’s be honest, how often does someone return a bed? It’s not like taking a coffee maker back to Wal-Mart because the coffee it made sucks! You don’t just grab it and toss it in the back seat! IT’S A BED!! So once it’s in your bedroom, it’s probably going to stay there, even if the ‘sleep as advertised’ doesn’t live up to its billing. That is what the company trying to sell me the bed is counting on.ic0010005 I’m not saying anything profound here; we buy their products because there is something that makes us want to believe that the perfect night’s sleep really exists. And it does… they call it a coma.

Oh shit… I just looked up Therapeutic Massage… that’s doesn’t look so nice… It’s used by therapists to help with deep muscle injury… they state right on the site that it is ‘not’ the same as a relaxation massage… I guess I’ll skip it… sleep is enough discomfort for one day.